In-person in the east bay & online across California
when something important is missing
therapy for early misattunement and emotional neglect
My approach
Not all impactful experiences are obvious.
For many people, what shapes them most is not what happened, but what was missing—consistent emotional attunement, space for their experience, or the sense of being fully seen and understood.
This is sometimes described as emotional neglect, or early misattunement. Often, it doesn’t feel that clear-cut—just a sense that something important wasn’t fully there.
You may not think of your past as “traumatic.” And yet, something in your present-day experience feels shaped by it.
how this can show up
Early misattunement often leads to ways of adapting that are subtle, but far-reaching.
You may notice:
a tendency toward self-reliance, even when support is available
taking on responsibility or holding things together for others
difficulty identifying or staying connected to your own emotional experience
feeling “fine” on the surface, while something underneath feels muted or distant
patterns of overthinking, overfunctioning, or internal pressure
These patterns often develop for good reason. They reflect an early intelligence—an ability to adapt to what was, or wasn’t, available.
Over time, though, they can begin to feel limiting.
working at the level of emotional experience
In our work together, we focus not only on understanding these patterns, but on how they live in your present-day experience.
This often includes:
gently reconnecting with emotional responses that may have been set aside
noticing how you organize around self-reliance, responsibility, or control
working with parts of yourself that learned to minimize needs or stay contained
creating space for experiences that may not have had room to fully emerge
We approach these patterns with care and curiosity. As they are more fully understood and experienced, they often begin to shift in ways that feel natural and sustainable.
an experiential, relational approach
My work is grounded in AEDP, informed by IFS and other depth-oriented approaches.
This is an experiential process, meaning we engage with your experience as it unfolds in real time. Within a safe, attuned therapeutic relationship, something different becomes possible—particularly if consistent attunement was not available earlier in your life.
Over time, this can allow for:
a more connected relationship with your emotional experience
greater ease in receiving support and being known by others
less internal pressure to hold everything together
a growing sense of aliveness and connection within yourself
who this work tends to support
I often work with high-functioning adults who are thoughtful, capable, and used to managing a great deal—yet sense that something in their internal experience feels constrained or underdeveloped.
This may resonate if you:
sense the impact of something missing
are used to relying on yourself and find it difficult to let others in
have insight into your patterns, but find that insight alone hasn’t shifted them
are looking for a deeper, more connected way of experiencing yourself
